Self-Validation

When you're judging yourself for having the feelings you're having. It’s one of the DBT interpersonal effectiveness skills, and the skills picker can route a client here in the moment.

Not sure this is the right skill?

The free DBT skills picker asks what’s happening right now and routes to a skill to try.

Open the skills picker

When to reach for Self-Validation

When you're judging yourself for having the feelings you're having.

How to practice Self-Validation

  1. Name what you're feeling out loud or on paper. "I feel ashamed." "I'm furious."
  2. Add: "Of course I do — given [what happened]." Connect feeling to context.
  3. Say: "It makes sense. Anyone in this situation might feel some version of this."
  4. Notice you don't have to ACT on the feeling to acknowledge it makes sense.
If it doesn’t help: the DBT skills picker routes next to Dialectics / Kernel of Truth. Different skills land for different people and moments — trying the next-best fit is part of the method, not a failure.

Tracking Self-Validation on a diary card

Whether a client used Self-Validation — and whether it helped — is exactly what a DBT diary card captures. Recording skill use day by day is how you see, in session, whether interpersonal effectiveness skills are generalizing.

Track skill use for free

Build a custom diary card that tracks the skills you’re working on, or track it digitally in Theracharts.

Build a diary cardAll DBT skills

FAQ

What is Self-Validation in DBT?

Self-Validation is a DBT interpersonal effectiveness skill. When you're judging yourself for having the feelings you're having.

When should I use Self-Validation?

Reach for self-validation when you're judging yourself for having the feelings you're having.

In crisis? Call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, US) — free, confidential, 24/7. This page is educational and is not therapy, diagnosis, or a substitute for professional care.