DBT Skills · Interpersonal Effectiveness

GIVE

Gentle · Interested · Validate · Easy manner

When the relationship matters more than winning this one. It’s one of the DBT interpersonal effectiveness skills, and the skills picker can route a client here in the moment.

Not sure this is the right skill?

The free DBT skills picker asks what’s happening right now and routes to a skill to try.

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When to reach for GIVE

When the relationship matters more than winning this one.

How to practice GIVE

**Gentle** — no attacks, threats, judgments. Tone calm, language clean.
**Interested** — listen. Eye contact (if culturally fit). No phone, no interrupting.
**Validate** — show their feelings make sense, even if you disagree with the conclusion.
**Easy manner** — light, where you can. Smile if it fits. The relationship is bigger than this fight.

If it doesn’t help: the DBT skills picker routes next to Validation. Different skills land for different people and moments — trying the next-best fit is part of the method, not a failure.

Tracking GIVE on a diary card

Whether a client used GIVE — and whether it helped — is exactly what a DBT diary card captures. Recording skill use day by day is how you see, in session, whether interpersonal effectiveness skills are generalizing.

Track skill use for free

Build a custom diary card that tracks the skills you’re working on, or track it digitally in Theracharts.

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FAQ

What is GIVE in DBT?

GIVE is a DBT interpersonal effectiveness skill. When the relationship matters more than winning this one.

When should I use GIVE?

Reach for GIVE when the relationship matters more than winning this one.

In crisis? Call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, US) — free, confidential, 24/7. This page is educational and is not therapy, diagnosis, or a substitute for professional care.